In its true, semantic meaning unconditional love equals affection without any sort of limitation. Love simply flows towards someone (or even an ideal) without any sort of restraint. One might even call it “true love”.
But this definition raises some tough possibilities that beg the question: “without any limits? Seriously?”.
Carl Sagan wrote a lot of books. For many people he was the gateway to science and encouraged a mindset of curiosity and eagerness to learn.
He had an almost unnatural ability to break down and explain even the most complex of topics into understandable nuggets of information. A cool example of this is his Flatland presentation, where Sagan explains a concept that is impossible to imagine – the 4th dimension – and somehow makes it understandable.
Well written “good” books create worlds and characters you don’t want to leave. Dark and disturbing books create worlds so disgusting and inhuman that all you can ever think about is how to escape them.
In what might be an ironic twist of fate, it’s the dark and disturbing books that teach one to be optimistic. No matter how bad your life is, at least you aren’t eaten from the inside out by hungry rats.
The Kiss by Gustav Klimt is an oil painting completed in 1907 or 1908. The painting was completed by the Austrian Symbolist painter named Gustav Klimt and it’s actually the most famous piece of Klimt art. It’s a beautiful piece that has quite a story behind it and there are a lot of tidbits about the painting that aren’t quite as well-known as the image of the artwork.
The building blocks of the universe are particles and waves.
Particles, such as neutrons or atoms, come together to create bigger and more complex structures, like molecules. Put together 2 hydrogen atoms and 1 oxygen atom and you end up with a water molecule. Put many water molecules together and you have a glass of water.
Most people would say it is a black and white problem: “never wait for someone, you are too precious to do that; if they love you, they will come”.
Self-respect is an awesome thing to have. but there are some situations which are truly hard to navigate and require time and effort to get out of. Only after can a person commit.
It’s one thing to wait for a person who makes an honest effort for you, but quite another to wait for somebody who doesn’t seem to care.
Another thing to keep in mind is that waiting for someone allows to clear your mind and figure out if you yourself actually like that person. It could just be a temporary moment of passion that will quickly evaporate once you get over it.
5 reasons to wait for someone
1. They are making a true effort to come to you
New relationships are very fragile in the initial stages of courtship. They become even more uncertain when the other person cannot commit 100% because of the circumstances in their life; think moving and setting up in another city, family obligations, long work hours, temporary long distance situations etc.
Should you wait for him / her in this case?
Maybe you’ve got it wrong and the real question isn’t if you should wait or not.
A better way to look at things is to consider these initial challenges as tests of character and commitment.
If the other person is making a genuine effort to solve their problems and come towards you, that is a major green flag. It shows that they are both capable of solving tricky relationship issues in the future, and that they like you enough to hold on.
The same logic applies to you as well. Chances are your crush is also looking for signs of support, a confirmation that his or her efforts aren’t being wasted.
2. They clearly communicate their intentions and commitment
Sometimes you can meet the one right after a difficult moment, such as an ugly breakup or other forms of emotional trauma.
You’re ready to commit, but the other person isn’t. They’re still figuring out their emotions and are unsure if they like you or not.
The best approach in this case is to wait and see how they communicate. A green flag is if they make it clear at all times how they feel about you, and warn you not to invest too much. This shows they care and don’t want you to get attached too quickly, too early and risk hurting yourself. They respect you enough to not use you as a backup or emotional crutch.
In these types of situations it can end either way. But you have the privilege of making an informed decision.
3. You know the type of person you want, just haven’t found it yet
Should you wait for the right person, or should you settle for someone that is “just right” for you? Popular wisdom says you should hold out and wait for “the one”, but there are a few major considerations:
1) How well do you know yourself and what type of person do you feel compatible with? A common approach to this question is “I’ll know it when I see it”, but having a few well-defined criteria can go a long way into figuring out the type of person you can see yourself with.
2) How can you make the relationship awesome? Relationships become fulfilling thanks to the efforts of both people involved. It won’t really matter much that you’ve found the one if you can’t carry the relationship from your end as well.
3) By having a clearly defined type, you’d be doing other people a favor by not wasting their time.
The only major downside of waiting for someone you can love is if your criteria are too restrictive, which leads to rejecting people you might otherwise be compatible with.
4. It’s ok to wait, if you’re open to meeting others
On occasion, you’ll get hung up on a person because you think they are your only option for an awesome relationship. That’s fine, it happens. Hearts have a strange way of getting fixated on somebody in particular and ignoring everybody else.
In these situations, it’s perfectly ok to wait a while for the other person to become available or make a move on you.
Until then however, you should really be open to meet other people. Keep going out, flirt, chat with people when out at get-togethers etc.
If the logistics in your life don’t allow you to be particularly social at this point in your life, another option is online dating.
There is really no downside in doing so. You might even find someone who is emotionally available that you like better than your crush.
The only thing you should truly consider is to not lead on the other people you’re seeing, in case the crush comes back and you choose them instead.
5. Wait for somebody to fall in love with you
Perhaps you’re already in a relationship with the person of your dreams. They’re available, kind, mature, have their lives put together and are fun to be around.
The only problem is, they haven’t said “I love you” or you feel they haven’t yet fallen in love with you.
Hearing those words isn’t a shallow whim that’s supposed to make you feel good. Ultimately, a person that says “I love you” communicates that they are invested enough in you and the relationship in order to navigate it through good and bad times.
Someone who isn’t in love you with simply doesn’t have “skin in the game” as it were. Even if the relationship ended tomorrow, they’d feel only a small sting and be back to normal within a week.
So how long should you wait for somebody to fall in love?
This one is probably the hardest of all to answer because there are simply so many variables.
Perhaps the person doesn’t experience love very intensely?
What if they were hurt in their past relationships and are overly cautious?
Maybe the don’t they don’t love you, but don’t want to be lonely?
What if they do love you, but are playing mind games to keep you on your toes?
They want to be “certain”.
Those are just a few possible scenarios. Some of them are not very pleasant to think about.
In the end however, true love is an overpowering emotion that can break through any rationalizations one may have. Sometimes, it requires many experiences, shared moments and time to get there so consider waiting if you haven’t had them.
However, if you and your SO have been through a lot, and they had the chance to see you at your best and worst and still haven’t fallen in love, then there’s a good chance they never will.
5 reasons NOT to wait for someone
1. You’re waiting for them to breakup with someone
To a large degree, who we fall in love with can be an uncontrollable reaction. Sometimes, this can lead to falling in love with someone already in a relationship.
Should you wait for them to breakup and be with you instead? When it comes to love there are no absolutes, however there are a few major reasons why you shouldn’t wait for someone already in a relationship.
For instance, you’ll never know if the relationship is ever going to end or not. Because of this, you risk missing out on someone who is just as compatible with you (if not more so) than the person you’re waiting for.
2. They are in a relationship with someone else and involved with you at the same time
The situation becomes even more complicated if you’re already emotionally or physically involved with them.
They may be leading you on, promising a potential relationship as a way of keeping you around. Even if they do breakup, you have no guarantee they won’t move behind your back as well.
3. They already had the love of their life, and it isn’t you
Should you wait for someone to sort out their feelings after a nasty breakup? The answer is: it depends. Most people do need a cool off period after the end of a relationship, especially if it was a committed one.
However, some relationships are much harder to recover from than others and require extensive time and emotional support to get over them.
If the other person hasn’t fully resolved his or her emotional baggage, you risk becoming an emotional crutch and entering a rebound relationship.
The other person won’t truly see you as an equal romantic partner, but more as an emotional distraction, someone who can keep their mind occupied while they figure things out.
As a result, chances are they won’t even treat you with the respect you deserve. For instance, they can draw painful comparisons such as “my ex was better because they did X”. Other times can copy paste behaviors or routines from the past relationship, into the one they have with you (even if you don’t like them).
However, the idea of mending a broken heart and waiting for someone to figure out they actually love you is very seductive. Unfortunately, chances are very high things won’t turn out that way.
Even if the other person does make an effort to treat you kindly, there is a good chance they will come to the conclusion that the two of you aren’t that compatible. Or that they need more space.
4. “I’m not ready for a relationship (with you)”
If there’s one phrase that’s a clear signal not to wait for someone, then that would be “I’m not ready for a relationship”, since it is just a very polite rejection of a relationship with you. It’s one of those weird phrases that means something else entirely than what it actually says.
Ultimately, there’s really no point in waiting for the person to be ready, because they’ve already made up their minds. They just try to make the problem about them so as to not hurt you, which is commendable, even if not fully straightforward.
5. Taking a break from a relationship
Some couples take breaks in their relationship. Basically, they’re still “together”, but they don’t see each other much (or at all) and are free to date other people.
Breaks in a relationship usually happen when there is too much emotional turmoil. Emotional turmoil exists because of underlying problems that create relationship conflict.
A break is an easy escape from the emotional turmoil, but without solving the underlying problems. Even after ending the break and getting back together, chances are the relationship will be haunted by the same problems that caused the break in the first place.
Still, some breaks are successful. Again, they don’t solve the problems by themselves, but they give the people in the relationship time to grow, to figure themselves out, learn more on how to handle relationships, interpersonal conflict and so on.
Some couples can flourish after breaks. This is because they learned the valuable lessons they needed to make the relationship work.
The problems with breaks however, is that they aren’t always done in good faith. Some want breaks in order to date others without dealing with the guilt of cheating, yet still staying together with their “main” partner.
In the end, it’s best to treat relationship breaks as a proper breakup. If things are meant to be, the people involved will reconnect, make up and come back together again.
Moving to the world of freelance writing is a remarkable decision. Yes, it’s going to be challenging. But, it’s a job that you’ll find satisfaction doing. More so if actually love writing. You’re getting paid for doing something you enjoy, at your own pace, from home. Working as a freelance writer indeed feels like a dream, especially for those of you that need this kind of convenience.
But, just as is the case with any job, it doesn’t mean that you’re working freelance, you can take your time and relax. It still needs a lot of hard work. Tick this to-do-list of things for you to accomplish, as you start working freelance.
Have A Blog
Working in the freelance industry also means that you’re under a lot of competition. Yes, there are thousands of other writers across the globe that are applying for writing jobs as you are. You have to find ways to get yourself noticed. One of these is through having a blog.
When you run a blog, you gain the following:
The practice that you need. Blogging is a serious matter. This means that you’ve got to post regularly so that your SEO rankings maintain. Else, you lose followers. Hence, with a blog, you’re forced to write more. This gives you the practice that you need to become a better writer, including, for instance, keeping track of the length, the meat, and even the flow. To help you as you start blogging, you can use tools like a word counter or a grammar checker to improve the quality of your work.
The exposure. When you pitch for a freelance writing job, you also have to submit an application letter and resume, just like in any other job. If your potential boss sees that you’ve got a blog, that’s one way for them to assess your writing style, apart from the samples that you submit. Plus, they get a glimpse of your personality too. This gives you a competitive advantage in the challenging freelance industry.
Choose Whether You’ll Work Part-Time Or Full-Time
When you work as a freelance writer, you also have a choice whether you’re going to do it full-time or part-time. Remember that with freelance writing, you’re in control of your time. While this is an advantage, it also means that you’ve got to double-time with time management. Working from home means that you’re also more prone to distraction. In writing, it’s very hard to get in the zone and have a flow when you’re always distracted. There are kids to take care of, perhaps, errands to run and a house to manage. This is unlike working with fixed hours in an office where no one can disturb you.
Hence, you have to make a choice early on whether you can commit to working part-time or full-time.
Sign Up For A Writing Course
When you work freelance, this means two things: on the advantage, you have more time on your hands to learn more. On the negative, this also means that competition is more complicated. In this regard, it helps if you also sign up for writing courses from time to time.
Enrolling yourself in courses or classes helps you work your way up towards success faster. Remember that now you’re not just writing for fun. You’re writing to earn an income. Hence, you have to invest in your talent and skills also.
Find A Niche That You’re Comfortable In
With thousands of other freelance writers, another way for you also to stand out is to find a niche that you’re comfortable in. Apart from being comfortable, you should at least know that field. For example, while anyone can write about parenting, for beginners, it’s best if you leave that to those who’ve got parenting experience. That way, you’re not forcing yourself to write about something that’s too alien for you.
As you stay longer in the freelance industry, though, that’s when you start to venture into more challenging fields. Do this when you’ve already had so much experience writing. That way, the only adjustment that you have to make is in the process of researching and studying on the topic.
Create A Marketing Plan
This applies especially if you don’t intend on writing for just one employer the entire time. If you prefer a project basis, such for instance, writing short e-books for a couple of months, you need to market yourself well as a freelance writer. Else, it’s going to be hard for you to bid for more work to be given to you.
Remember that one of the disadvantages of working in the freelance industry is that for starters, you don’t earn a fixed and stable income. If this income is something that you need, then double time in marketing yourself. Here are some ways for you to do it:
Start with guest posting or ghostwriting for a company. This means working as a part of their writing staff for various websites. Nevermind that you don’t get credited for your work, as it’s posted. What’s important is that you’re gaining experience, practice, and a name in the freelance industry.
Pitch to blogs and websites you want to write content for.
Surely, you may have ventured into freelance writing because you’ve heard of the success stories of many that have left their office jobs to work freelance. Yes, working freelance can just be as profitable for you, too, income-wise. But, just because you’re working freelance, this doesn’t mean that you’ve got room to be lazy. It takes so much hard work. Sometimes, even more so than having a fixed schedule in the office. This list should give you that good start that you need.