Contrary to popular belief, nerdy girls aren’t that rare. There are lots of girls around that have deep interests in things such as Star Wars, books, pop culture stuff, video games, weird movies and TV series etc.
Depending on your definition of “nerd” there might actually be more nerdy girls than nerdy guys out there!
Since there are lots of nerdy girls out there, the best way to meet one is to imagine what hobbies the ideal nerdy girl might have, and then find events, activities and locations where she can enjoy them.
15 places where you can find & meet nerdy girls
Board game clubs and cafes
Nerds and geeks are usually the biggest audience for tabletop and board games (especially Dungeons & Dragons).
As such, a great place to meet nerdy and geeky girls is at board game clubs and cafes, such as this one in New York City:
People usually go to board game clubs and cafes as part of friend groups, but the atmosphere is very laid back and there’s a lot of intermingling as people from one friend group mix with those from another group to play a particular game.
Perhaps the best time to go to a board game club is when they are hosting certain events (for example, a Magic: The Gathering tourney) or on busy nights like Friday and Saturday.
If you don’t have friends who are interested in table top games, then just call the board game club and ask if they are “solo” friendly, and if the crowd there is welcoming of non-attached players.
Libraries or book stores with cafes attached
Book stores are great for meeting smart and nerdy girls, especially if they have a cafe attached like this one:
There’s lots of opportunity to spark a conversation with someone here, lots to talk about and even have a quick chat over a cup of coffee.
Public libraries have a similar vibe, but they tend to have stricter “keep quiet” rules which can make sparking a conversation a bit harder. Plus, many libraries don’t offer a snack bar.
Despite those shortcomings, a library is still a great place to meet someone.
Local nerd shop
Nerd shop is more of a catch-all phrase that describes shops, stores and bars that sell wacky stuff that is especially appealing to nerds, geeks or people with unusual hobbies.
An example of this is the Wacko Soap Plant in Los Angeles, that sells pop culture memorabilia, gifts, houseware etc.
This one is just an example, there are lots of different type of nerd stores centered around various interests: TV shows, comic books, video games etc.
It really depends on what kind of stores you can find near you, how conversation friendly they are and of course how popular the nerd shop is in general.
Co-working spaces & cafes
One potentially interesting place to meet smart, office working women is at co-working spaces, as well as cafes or bars with pay-per-time co-working options.
To be fair, these may not be the best choice to find nerdy or geek girls, but it’s still worth looking into them.
So how do co-working spaces work? Basically, you pay a fixed fee (usually between $20-40 per day), so you can bring your laptop and work all day there alongside other working people.
Most importantly, these people are not your regular working colleagues and are complete strangers.
The advantage of a co-working space is that if you go there once or twice a month, you’ll likely meet a completely different set of people every single time time.
If co-working spaces in your area seem way too professional and buttoned-up, then consider looking to cafes or bars that offer pay-per-time workspace options.
They work basically the same way as a typical co-working space, however they have the added advantage of having a much more laid back atmosphere, and usually attract creative and artistic types, girls and guys alike.
If your job allows remote work every once in a while, or you don’t have much to do on a weekend, then co-working locations are worth a look.
Nerd culture conventions
Probably the best places to meet a nerd or geeky girl is at various nerd culture conventions, such as Comic Con or Star Wars conventions.
Almost everyone who goes there is a certified nerd, and best of all, people there are very approachable!
This is because nerd culture conventions have a carnival like atmosphere to them where everyone talks to anyone and has a good time.
Not only that, but there are lots and lots of events, workshops and meetings happening all the time that break the ice and make it easy to spark conversations.
The biggest downside to these nerd culture conventions is that not every city has them, and even if they do, they happen only a few times a year.
Book clubs are discussion groups where people meet to talk & debate about certain books they’ve read.
Usually, members of a book club decide to read a certain book, and then schedule a meeting 2-3 weeks in the future, so they actually have time to read it.
What makes book clubs such a great place to meet nerdy and smart girls is that women generally read more than men, and this is reflected in book club demographics. In a 20 people book club, there are likely to be 12-15 women.
The trickiest part is actually finding book clubs, but there are a few ways you can do this:
- Use the meetup.com app.
- Browse through Facebook and look for book club or book reading events in your area.
- Search through Facebook for a book club group that might be of interest to you.
Classes & groups for improv, sketch, amateur acting or standup comedy
Lots of people like to do the type of activities listed above as a means of self-improvement (as a way to fix shyness, or stage fright), or simply to have fun. Some do it as a stepping stone to a career path in these fields.
Regardless, these places are a great place to both socialize and even learn a potentially useful skill. Oh, and they often attract nerdy girls who want to try out new things.
The disadvantage is the cost, at least when it comes to classes. Also, if you’re not actually interested in learning anything then these classes will feel like a real drag and waste of money.
As a result, it’s best to search for actual improv or drama groups that do this kind of thing as a fun, social activity.
The best way to find such groups is through:
- Toastmasters, probably the best public speaking training group, with a worldwide presence.
- Ask around, especially people active in the local arts scene.
- Local arts center.
Unfortunately, these groups can be a bit hard to find, but they’re worth searching for nonetheless.
Heck, you could potentially start your own such group!
Another option are Open Mic sessions at stand-up comedy bars. Open Mic stand-up means only amateurs participate in a stand-up show. Lots of participants in Open Mic events are women, so it’s easy to strike a conversation with them.
eHarmony is a dating app, among the first actually since it was founded all the way back in 2000.
What makes eHarmony a good dating app for finding a smart, nerdy girl are the personality tests it has.
These personality tests are fairly comprehensive and can take even 30-40 minutes to complete. At the end however, the eHarmony algorithm matches you with women it thinks are a good match, based on your personality score and theirs.
Signing up for eHarmony is free so it might be worth trying it out and see how it works for you.
Search through Facebook events
For all its privacy faults, Facebook is a fantastic platform to discover interesting things that are going on around you, especially when it comes to events and groups with a particular interest.
If you live in a bigger city, you’ll come across countless events about all kinds of activities that might interest both you, and a girl with interests similar to yours.
Not only that, but because it’s an event it acts as a sort of ice-breaker where you can talk with that girl about anything.
That being said, sometimes it can take a while to find the “right” event that you yourself might feel comfortable going to and interacting with people.
Some ideas of events to look out for:
- Dungeons & Dragons events.
- Card game meetups (think Magic: The Gathering).
- Movie nights.
Charities aren’t just a good place to meet people, but also meet women who believe in something so much they’re willing to work for free for it.
Most of these charities offer a way to contribute in a way other than money: acting like a tutor, meal packing, front desk volunteer, meal delivery, animal shelters etc.
Like with anything however, finding the right local charity you might feel personally connected to won’t be easy. So take your time, search for what charity organizations are active in your city, how they do things and how you might fit in.
Latin dance clubs & lessons
You might be tempted to dismiss this one, but hear it out a bit.
Girls who go to Latin dance lessons aren’t your usual hardcore, rock-till-you-drop party girls. Quite the opposite actually.
Learning a Latin dance like salsa or cha-cha is actually quite time consuming, and learning to dance well requires a certain type of discipline, effort, will-power and self-confidence to improve yourself and master something that isn’t easy.
As such, girls who go to Latin dance lessons tend to be much more level-headed and down to earth than you might think, while the women who want quick gratification are instantly filtered out the moment they realize dancing well is actually not as easy as they thought.
Second reason you should consider Latin dance classes is that instructors often suffer from an acute shortage of male students.
The shortage is so bad many instructors often turn down women if they don’t bring a male partner, simply so they can keep a 1:1 ratio between male and female students.
Simply put, if you do go to dance classes you’re practically guaranteed to be paired up with a female student.
Secondly, learning Latin dances allows you to visit Latin dance clubs, where a similar dynamic and gender ratio exists.
Renaissance or Medieval fairs
Renaissance and Medieval fairs are similar in principle to nerd culture conventions, only that these ones attract history nerds.
What makes them so fun is that they often have reenactments of medieval village life, combat, cosplays, creating entire medieval villages from scratch etc.
Unfortunately, just like with nerd conventions, Medieval and Renaissance fairs don’t happen very often, and even when they do, they might not be held in your own city.
That being said, it’s still something to keep an eye on.
MeetUp app & site
Meetup.com is a free social networking website built around local communities, with a focus on certain interests: board games, traveling, movie nights, language exchanges etc.
This makes Meetup a fantastic place to find communities of certain types of people – nerds included.
To use the app, simply go to the meetup.com site, create an account and search for relevant groups in your city. There’s also a mobile app for iOS and Android devices.
After you’ve found an interesting group, go to the group page and see what events they have planned for the future.
Discord probably isn’t your first choice to go find nerdy girls, but if you think about it, Discord is a great social messaging app for nerdy girls to hang out:
It’s still viewed as a “gaming” first social messaging app.
It’s branding was, up until recently, more oriented towards gamers.
Lots and lots of groups for practically any type of interest or location.
Anonymous and strongly encouraging of people chatting to each other, either in the direct messages or the central group chat.
If you already have Discord, it might be worth searching for some interest groups that are based around your city.
Discord may or may not work for you, but it’s a pretty low maintenance way to meet new people after all. You can check the app whenever you want, chat with whoever you want, or even ghost whoever you want.
How to spot a nerdy girl
Going to places with a larger concentration of nerds is all fine and good, but probably the most frequent way to meet nerds is through everyday life: at the store, subway, during a night out, etc.
Girls tend to be much more self-aware about the clothes they wear. Young guys wouldn’t think twice about wearing a T-shirt with a pentagram on it, especially if it’s an emergency and that’s the only clean shirt they have.
For guys, a T-shirt with a pentagram is just a T-shirt with a pentagram. it doesn’t have a “message”, or say anything about their beliefs.
Girls however are much more aware of the messaging their clothes might have. If a girl wears a T-shirt with a pentagram or Star Wars, it’s usually because she wants others to know that witchcraft, paganism or Star Wars is an active interest of hers.
Besides clothes, other hints a girl might be a nerd are various accessories she might have on her, things like backpacks, bags, books, pendants etc.
If based on these things you suspect a girl might be a nerd, then it might be worth seeing if you can spark a conversation based on some of these apparent interests.