Has your ex started to like your social media posts on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat etc., and left you wondering what are they hoping to achieve?
If your ex started liking your social media posts then the most likely explanation is that they might be interested in getting back together. This isn’t a guarantee though. In some situations, the ex might just want you around as a backup option, or they might be looking for a reaction from you as a form of emotional validation.
The ex hopes to get back together
The most obvious explanation is that your ex wants to get back together. This usually happens when you initiated the breakup, but it can happen even if they broke up with you.
If the ex initiated the breakup, them liking your posts is a way to extend an olive branch and maybe convince you to start a conversation.
In your experience, is the ex the prideful type that always wants to be chased, and never do the chasing? If yes, then the reason they aren’t contacting you directly is because they’re too proud to do it.
If you feel the relationship had some potential despite their pride, then consider liking a few of their posts back and see how they react.
Another explanation might be that your mistakes forced the ex to initiate the breakup (at least from the ex’s perspective).
The ex broke up with you over these perceived mistakes, and their belief (justified or not) is that this breakup period might have opened your eyes to these mistakes and convinced you to fix them.
In this situation, the ex would like to give the relationship another shot but would like you to apologize and make an effort first.
If you initiated the breakup, the post liking may be a form of an invite to start a conversation. However, the ex may have been hurt by the breakup, so they don’t want to risk getting hurt again by initiating the “get back together” conversation only for you to reject them again.
Thus, them liking your posts is their way of nudging you to start the “get back together” conversation. If you don’t initiate the conversation, it will be obvious to them that you don’t intend to mend the relationship.
In this situation, you will probably have to initiate the conversation yourself. Simply liking some of their posts back will usually not be enough to convince them to open up, since it’s not a strong enough signal that you won’t reject them again.
The ex wants to breakup with their current partner
Based on what you know, does the ex have a boyfriend or girlfriend? If the answer is yes, then maybe the ex wants to leave their current partner and return to you instead.
Whether or not this is a good thing, or something you want, strongly depends on your particular situation.
Another possibility is that maybe the ex wants something physical with you, but without breaking up with their current partner. It’s basically a have your cake and eat type of situation.
The ex wants you around as a backup option
Another reason the ex might be liking your posts is so that they can turn you into an “orbiter”.
In this situation, the ex doesn’t want to get back together. The ex just wants you around as a backup option.
The ex might even be in a relationship with someone else, but perhaps they feel unsure about the future of that relationship and so wants to keep you around as a fallback option.
Basically, they want your emotional connection but without them having to invest and commit for it. It’s a one foot inside, one foot outside type of situation.
Finally, the ex might want a “friends with benefits” situation, where they only want the physical side of the past relationship, and not much more.
The ex wants to know you miss them
If your ex was the type that played relationship mind games, then it’s possible the ex likes your posts as a way to bait you into contacting them and then trying to get the relationship back together.
In this situation, the ex doesn’t actually want to get back together with you. They are just doing a power play to uncover any feelings you might still have as a form of validation.
They want to feel that you are working to earn back their affection. They want to feel that they “won” and that you are the one that cares more, and the ex is the one that cares less.
This is much more likely to happen if you are the one that initiated the breakup, or if the ex initiated the breakup but you didn’t make any effort to get back together.
Particularly in the last case, the ex might be upset at your indifference towards them, so they are poking around your emotional armor just to get a response.
If you suspect this is the case, the most straightforward solution is to just block the ex so you don’t have to deal with these annoyances.
The ex healed and now sees you as a friend
Sometimes the ex liking your posts doesn’t have any deeper meaning.
Maybe your ex has healed and moved on from the relationship and now feels comfortable interacting with your posts without any hidden agenda.
Thus, the ex liking your posts is their way of saying “hey, I’ve moved on and I’m ok with being friends”.
This of course depends on your ex’s personality, but also how the breakup unfolded.
If the breakup was reasonably friendly and amicable, then your ex wouldn’t dance around the issue of getting back together by liking your posts and other similar sneaky stuff. They would contact you directly.
Also, think about your ex’s personality. Some people are just naturally friendly and like to be liked. If that is your ex, then maybe they’re liking your posts just to communicate that they see you as a friend, and they hope you see them as a friend too.
Another thing to think about is: how long ago was the breakup? After all, time heals everything, including breakups.
If more than 6 months or a year have passed since the breakup, then your ex most likely healed from the end of the relationship, and now feels comfortable reestablishing contact without any romantic weight subtext.
As to what you should do, that’s pretty much up to you. If you’re open to a friendship, maybe open a casual chat with the ex, and try to read their intentions.
If you’re not interested in a friendship, just ignore them or maybe even block them if you had really bad experiences with them in the past.