Hearing a boyfriend or a husband comment about you being overweight will always sting, no matter how gentle they approach the subject.
After the conversation is over, the next question is what you can do about it, and in this situation, there are multiple ways to tackle the issue.
Ask the boyfriend or husband to lose weight together
Do you think your boyfriend or husband is overweight too?
If the answer is yes, then it’s a golden opportunity to build some healthy habits as a couple. This could mean starting to go to the gym together, throwing out unhealthy foods in the house and replacing them with healthy ones, etc.
The important thing to note is that he must be a participant too. This is because reaching a healthier weight usually involves changing your lifestyle, and you can’t really do that if the relationship itself keeps drawing you back to unhealthy behaviors.
What exactly this means is different from relationship to relationship. It could mean cutting out certain foods, being less sedentary, or starting some active lifestyle hobbies (running, rock climbing, hiking, sports, etc.)
The important thing is that your partner has to participate too. You can, of course, lose weight alone, but it will be hard.
However, the process will be much simpler, more enjoyable, and healthier if both of you agree to do this together, as a couple.
Join him in his lifestyle habits
Is your boyfriend the physically active type who likes to lead a healthy lifestyle?
If yes, that means being physically fit is very important, both for him and his partner, meaning you.
They may not directly say this, but they want to look good for you and expect you to do the same.
Fortunately, the process of getting back into shape is a lot easier with a partner that understands what it means to build a healthy lifestyle.
If you’ve come to the conclusion that yes, you do want to lose weight, then see if you can join your partner in his own physical exercise lifestyle.
Go to the gym with him and learn the basics; start running together, etc.
If his preferred type of physical exercise isn’t something you’ll enjoy (for example, he plays competitive sports like basketball or soccer), then see if he’s open to trying something more couple-friendly and do that together.
Another benefit to this is that exercising together and sharing healthy habits is an incredible relationship builder, where both of you get to spend more time together.
Transfer some chores to him
Another thing to take into account is that losing weight takes time and effort, and you can’t really do that if you’re overwhelmed with full-time work and housework.
It is unreasonable for a partner to demand that you lose weight if you work full-time, do most of the chores around the house, and take care of the kids (if they are in the picture of course).
The stress of it all makes it impossible to focus on a healthy lifestyle. At that point, you’re just trying to function and are probably close to burnout. You may not even have the energy to think about a healthy lifestyle, let alone the time to keep yourself in shape.
In that case, the best approach is to get your partner to do some of your chores. They want you to lose weight? Fair enough, but you need the time and energy to focus on this.
Your partner taking over some of your chores should free your time and body so you can focus on losing weight and building a better lifestyle.
If possible, include your partner, as mentioned in the previous points above. If they aren’t willing to go with you, then go it alone, find a physical exercise you enjoy doing, and do it as a form of active meditation. A little capsule in time where you and your body can reconnect.
Usually, it’s not unreasonable for your partner to ask you to lose some weight. Most of the time, it comes from a place of caring and love, since they want you to be healthy and the best you can be.
However, like with most relationship problems, it can only be resolved together. Your partner may have asked you to lose weight, but you must dictate how that can happen and how the lifestyle of the relationship must change in order for that to happen.